Much has been written about the benefits of living in a foreign culture and learning a foreign language.
But have you ever considered the advantages of sending your young child NOW and letting him or her stay with friends or family? If you have a child age 11 or older, it could be the perfect time for this life-changing experience. It could possibly be better timing than in college. Not only that, but you don’t have to pay an international exchange organization multiple thousands of dollars to make it happen! For the smart do-it-yourselfer, an entire month abroad can cost less than two weeks of lacrosse camp! (Don’t have family or friends abroad with a child around the same age as yours?)
Benefits of Time Abroad During Childhood
- A huge boost in self-confidence as your child learns she can adapt to a completely novel environment.
- A landmark, lifetime memory gives your child pride and a major accomplishment that he can talk about at school. A child who spent the summer in France or Argentina will receive much more attention and interest, compared to one who went to basketball camp. And if the child took the trip ALONE, he will get serious respect from his peers.
- Immersion is by far the best way to learn a language, and there is no better way to do it than in a family setting. Since your child will not be in a structured study abroad program, she will not be part of a group of Americans. The students from these programs tend to hang together and not truly enter the new culture. Your child will have no access to an ex-pat community and her immersion will be total. Being so young, she will participate in family activities every time they occur.
- Money-savings. Compared to the $18,0001 to $32,0002 it costs for one college semester, it’s possible to send your child to another country for the cost of a flight and souvenirs. This assumes that you find a like-minded family in the target culture who would then send their child to you for the same time-frame and you will provide for all of his needs and activities.
Deciding if it’s Right for Your Child
Unsurprisingly, the key element to your child having a successful trip abroad is her truly wanting to go. When you discuss the idea with her, is she excited? Is she begging to go? That’s a great sign! If not, try to give your her more familiarity with the culture through looking at pictures or watching movies made in that country. If your child is still uninterested, don’t push it. Check again next year. This is an amazing opportunity, but it is not a fit for every child. Some children, especially those with anxiety or extreme shyness, are not good candidates for solo travel at this age. If you have any doubts, you can always make a few appointments with a therapist for an objective opinion.
Conquering Fear and Easing Worry
The biggest obstacle to giving your child this once-in-a-lifetime experience is usually fear. This isn’t the 1970s and 1980s when parents would let their kids run loose on their bikes with no idea where they are. Nowadays it isn’t uncommon for children to never go anywhere by themselves. Parents have a 24/7 readout on their child’s geo-location. This is a cautious generation of parents! However, being cautious is an asset only as long as the fear you have is truly warranted rather than simply imagined. The most important advice I can give you is to thoughtfully consider your ability (and inability) to keep yourself and your child safe even in your home country. Life entails risk. If you allow your child to go on school field trips, that’s a risk. Every family road trip is a risk. Life is a series of risks and if you are to live and experience life fully, you can’t let unwarranted fear immobilize you. Let me take the opportunity to discuss two specific worries you might have: terrorism and concerns about your child’s age.
Terrorism receives a lot of media coverage and is a horrifying reality of our world. That said, should we let these tragedies affect our lives? Let’s look at the topic rationally. Did you know that your chance of dying in a terrorist attack is one in 20 million? You are as likely to be killed by your furniture as you are to die from terrorism.3 (When I first read this statistic, I couldn’t help but eye my surroundings suspiciously, trying to determine which piece of furniture is out to get me! It’s the recliner, for sure.) When we sent our daughter to Europe, there had recently been two major attacks in the country she was visiting. I would be lying if I said that it didn’t give me pause. However, I chose to use my rational mind to assess risk rather than emotion. And that was a wise decision, as the trip has become a major highlight of her life.
A final worry you or your spouse may have concerns the age of your child. It is common to feel that perhaps she would be safer traveling as a college student. But is this really the case? Who provokes more worry, a 19-year-old on their own in a foreign country, hanging around groups of young people who statistically are likely to drink too much, be out in the streets until the wee hours of the morning, and engage in risky behaviors? Or a minor who is going to be participating in the life of a family? I know which scenario keeps me up at night!
This is a good time to reiterate something you already know: today’s technology makes it possible to be in constant communication with people halfway around the world. You will be able to see and check in with your child as frequently as either of you desire. You are not leaving your child and hoping he will be okay; you are still completely present in his life and will get constant reassurance that the trip is going as everyone had hoped.
This post is the first of a three-part series on sending children abroad.
Part 2: Finding an International Host Family for a Minor Child
Part 3: Logistics of Sending Your Child Abroad
Have you sent your child to stay abroad? Would you consider it?